Alfred C. Clyde presents:

Art thou lonesome? Do you feel like every decision you make is because of some big booty bounce in the sky? Some people take responsibility for their actions, and that works about 50% of the time. But what if it wasn't your fault? What if the stars and planets had a say in every thought, every feeling, and every mistake you have ever made? I can see them now, all the planets sitting around a green card table, smoking gas station blunts and making bets on your future. Are you going to stand for that? We didn't think so. Here at Horrorscopics LLC  we have engineered divine contact for the first time ever and want to share it with you.  So sit back and relax and enjoy the future because it begins today

CANCER

"What the fuck is this shit?"

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Alfred C. Clyde, Inventor of the Horrorscope