The Weird Sisters pictured with their

1966 Ampeg Gemini II and 1972 Minimoog 

GEMINI

So you're a Gemini eh?

Lucky for you.

I've been a wizard now for like 80 fuckin' years and i have no idea what's up with ya'll. 

Seriously.

 

And don't get me wrong I've tried about everything. New telescopes, crystals, even changing my diet. Nothing.

 

It's so wack. My best advice to you, whoever you are, is to ask someone else. The only conclusion I can come to is that Gemini's everywhere are simply un-cosmic. Certain creatures have no cosmic energy such as the Beta Fish or the Nightcrawler... Beagles too.

But they are all listed in my handbook which says nothing about Gemini's. 

Perhaps your cosmic energy is so infantile that it's not even worth mentioning. 

I'm sorry.

For more information about Gemini's click HERE!

Are you a Gemini? Yes? I understand your timidness for I too was once a fragile and fertile spirit. Sometimes you feel trapped inside your meat. Well lets us take a trip through history. In 1946 in Linden, New Jersey by Everitt Hull and Stanley Michaels began to experiment with ways to defeat their own timid tendencies. Night and day they experimented, eventually discovering their confidence. They were the first to sussesfully isolate the confidenceo arachis hypogaea. A peanut shaped gland in the pelvic region that exudes confidence confidentially. As their study continued they learned that the sizes of the "Confidence gland" varied from person to person. For instance late comedian Bermie Mac had a gland the size of a coconut.

 

Of course they recieved the Nobel Peace Prize in 1953 but their dedication didn't end there.

Years of research and development passed. The early 60s were a very creative time but lacked the proper confidence. Together Everitt Hull and Stanley Michaels developed a device that, when inserted into the navel, could transmit the bioelectrical signal exuded by the confidence gland. This was wonderful for they were able to accrue even more statistics and knowledge, but so what? It wasn't solving any problems.

 

One day Stanley Michaels had a brilliant idea. One simple modification to the BNC connector tip of the Navel Tranferance Unit, adapting it to quarter inch stereo, changed the world forever.

 

They plugged it into a small tube radio that was lying on the desk and PRESTO! Bioelectric confidence became audible sound for the first time in history. Now anyone could amplify their confidence! It even opened the doors to confidence compression and limiting for those with macho egos. Then came the next and perhaps most enduring stage of their creative union. Developing the perfect amplifier to exude warm juicy clean confidence.

The first to hit the market was the Ampeg Gemini I. A simple 2 channel, 22 watt tube amp equipped with spring reverb, tremolo, and a 12 inch speaker. It was marketed as a home unit, designed for the living room and small meetings. You would plug the Navel Tranferance Unit into your belly button and then plug that into both inputs of the amplifier. They sold well getting great reviews by homeowners and critics alike. However, maybe to his own demise, Everitt Hull was quickly becoming addicted to his new found confidence. Eventually he wanted more power. Less than a year later he unveiled an updated version of the Gemini. Thus the Ampeg Gemini II was birthed.

The first upgrade was more wattage. 30 tube driven watts for more volume and sustain. He trashed the idea of a single 12 inch speaker and upgraded to a single 15 inch Jenson. If you refer to his 1958 publication,  The Special Theory of  Relative Confidence and the Physics of Bounce, he goes on to explain that bass in the face is the only way to command attention. If the Ampeg Gemini II is guilty of anything, it is it's exuding bass frequencies. As a fan of all things polka, he also added 2 accordion inputs. Fitted with 7868 output tubes, and the fabled 7199 phase inverter tube, the tone was crushing. The more volume you gave it the more undeniable you became. 

 

Upon it's reveal everyone was shocked. Several government entities saw his creation as a growing threat. By 1967, they were selling like hotcakes. Meek guitar players began taking an interest and for a short time The Ampeg Gemini II sold better than all the competing brands such as Vox, Fender, and Kay. Drunk with power and more confidence than Professor Klump, Everitt Hull began to cart around the large amp everywhere he went in a little red wagon. People were getting worried. He had transmuted from confident physicist to electronic asshole. "His cocky attitude was a big turn off" said longtime partner Stanley Michaels. "He would show up to my house, bang my wife and eat all my food. It wasn't a happy time." They did all they could to help, including working with UREI to develop a specific 1169 limiter specifically for his blood type. Alas he couldn't be quelched. His reign of terror would eventually end in unfortunate circumstances. He ran for The House of Representatives, thinking he should be the only voice of the people and speaker of the house. It worked. He gave an impressive speech that truly made no sense when transcribed, but his confidence shined through. They voted, and he won. Days later he was dead. The official story is that he tried to take a bath and forgot to unplug his navel unit, but years have passed, and certain information has since been made public. The German government, in a rare collaboration with the FCC, took him out. It was of their opinion that his confidence was of such fidelity that it could be theoretically broadcasting of it's own accord. There was some truth to this as New Jersey has been an overly aggressive and confident area ever since. 

The Ampeg Gemini II:

the boatshow of amplifiers

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