Leo

Leo is actually short for Leonard. I know, the truth is usually shocking. Fear not, I have risen above and popped the bubble of perception. I spoke to the Greeks directly about this one. Some words are just too long to say, you know? The same goes for names. Are there any Leonards out there right now? I hope you are listening because it is time to oil your chest and speak up. No more excuses!  Get out there and let everyone know approximately how big your dong is! This is a new dawn of no nick names. The toleration of such is now limited! All Leonards unite. You can sign THE GENERAL LEONARD FOUNDATION'S PETITION FOR LEONARDS GENERALLY by clicking HERE. Take some time and complete a brief survey so we can continue helping, guiding, and providing jobs for Leonards in need. Don't believe us? Too bad, time is running out. By the time you read this there will be 30,000+ dead or homeless Leonards in your county. Take Leonard Chongawitz for example. He was hit on the head by a coconut, just fooling around with his pal Leonard Jubb. Who do you think paid for Leonard Chongawitz's medical bills? We did. Who do you think paid for the gas in Leonard Jubb's vehicle to drive Leonard Chongawitz to the hospital? We did. Ask the sacred Leroy Leonard, adviser of the Canadian Prime Minister. If you look at Canada's current economic climate you'll find that the State Treasury has created economic benefits for all Leonards in the mighty north. This stimulating stimulus not only prepares all documented Leonards and their offspring for college and beyond, but is a shining example of what  can be accomplished for a man named Leonard. The scientists have spoken and the study is out. Leonardism isn't just a disease, it's a way of life. If you sign up now we can promise to include The Book of Holy Leonard Magogis by renowned author Leonard Magogis. Remember the way you felt the first time reading heartfelt passages such as, "Don't tease me Leonard I'm Holding a gun"  or "Leonardeo Windstorm and the Salty Pretzel."  This collection can be totally yours if you sign the petition. If you include your email address you will then be entered into a raffle! This is big news. This year

we are auctioning off something big. Something extra soft. Something HUGE... That's right the raffle winner

gets a Big Huge Extra Soft Pork Bun, made by the incredible chef Leonard Nardball II. Imagine

yourself driving alone though a big open field and you come across a woman... You think to yourself 

"is this an opportunity to get laid?" It isn't, and you know it's because your name is Leonard. The woman

is holding a suitcase. A salesman? No. Even better. A benefactor. The sun is setting and she presents

you a Big Huge Extra Soft Pork Bun, made by incredible Chef Leonard Nardball II. Your mouth

waters. It runs like a faucet. Your car fills with the liquid dripping from your mouth. You can't

swim and time is running out. You can still see the silhouetted Big Huge Extra

Soft Pork Bun, made by incredible Chef Leonard Nardball II. You close your

eyes knowing you are eternally doomed. 

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